On the down side of life
Life has its peaks and valleys. However, I am not sure when I will even see the upside in life. I have lost my confidence to even do anything substantial in life.
I do not even know what satisfies me. A few calm moments in life had given me grief and sorrows. I am not sure what do I see in my window. Do I see much annoyance and grief, or am I seeing many faces marching towards stupidity, suffering and sorrows?
I am really annoyed by the observation that I do not see alternatives to what I see out there. I thought I really worked hard in my life to try to be the change I want to see. Then I realise the more things change, the more they don't. And I am always bearing the brunt of things - or so I thought.
As a highly sensitive individual I have to make do with feeling too many intense moments in life.
I worry for my country, Singapore. I am deeply concerned Singapore is not in a favourable geopolitical situation in our world. Singapore can be cut off from other countries at their will, as there is a isthmus in Thailand that, given the right funding and political will, see a canal cut across the narrow strip of land large enough for oil tankers to bypass Singapore. Airlines already skip Singapore in the transport of passengers and cargo in favour of other ports like Shanghai, Dubai or Abu Dhabi, if what I see in the business decisions of Australia and New Zealand airlines were of any indication.
What are most of us doing? We are either fighting for economic control over our national reserves and money earners, or are content with the current sad state of affairs. We do not voice out concerns over useless parasites who promise the heavens but just glue their seats to their bums. We are happy with people who put the interests of their own personal agendas first ahead of their country's, particularly as right now, there is still no prominent leader in the political scene who lives to keep Singapore right, her strategic thinking in the region, where Philippines are doing way better than Singapore right now and hence, I think they will thrive in my generation; her economic directions, where there should be reciprocal free exchange of labour and capital with countries that enforce reciprocal treatment, and her heritage. Not even some elected officials in Singapore, which has all the right to claim 'we respect our leaders and heritage, and our opponents', even more than you'.
We have little desire for change, even though the world is so rapidly changing it gets dizzying. We are behind the curve in many critical social areas we need to catch up on: acceptance of the various forms of civil rights especially disability, gender and racial rights, censorship of newspapers, television and even websites that actually provide responsible alternatives to what we see out there (that being said I do not think there is fair and balanced media in Singapore right now), and also the healthcare model - Singapore needs single-payer healthcare to allocate resources better towards preventive healthcare with the right focus in adding life to years.
I may be a loser. Right now, I have a degree, like 'everyone else'. I have not much professional work experience as, in short, I still cannot recover from a label most of the rest of Singapore perceive as a source of shame, not a source of pride. Seeing how compatriots do in condoning inaction, impasse and ego inflammation all around, I cannot be bothered to write much in the past few years, and honestly I am demotivated to even say I can be the change I want to see.
Recently, I have some exposure to the Bible. As quoted:
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
Maybe Singapore is a reminder to the world that if we do not put Him and all His children first, we deserve our country being fallen. We deserve to hang our heads in shame, even if we indeed are loving, hardworking and dedicated people for a higher cause. Maybe not having what other people in my land and others have does has its good: I can continue to try to live my life the best I am given. There are many people who have to deal with hypocrisies, lies and denials, including those close to my heart. I know I will deal them. I shall continue to speak out the truth, even those involving my own mistakes.
I do not even know what satisfies me. A few calm moments in life had given me grief and sorrows. I am not sure what do I see in my window. Do I see much annoyance and grief, or am I seeing many faces marching towards stupidity, suffering and sorrows?
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| I could drown myself in these big falls |
I am really annoyed by the observation that I do not see alternatives to what I see out there. I thought I really worked hard in my life to try to be the change I want to see. Then I realise the more things change, the more they don't. And I am always bearing the brunt of things - or so I thought.
As a highly sensitive individual I have to make do with feeling too many intense moments in life.
I worry for my country, Singapore. I am deeply concerned Singapore is not in a favourable geopolitical situation in our world. Singapore can be cut off from other countries at their will, as there is a isthmus in Thailand that, given the right funding and political will, see a canal cut across the narrow strip of land large enough for oil tankers to bypass Singapore. Airlines already skip Singapore in the transport of passengers and cargo in favour of other ports like Shanghai, Dubai or Abu Dhabi, if what I see in the business decisions of Australia and New Zealand airlines were of any indication.
What are most of us doing? We are either fighting for economic control over our national reserves and money earners, or are content with the current sad state of affairs. We do not voice out concerns over useless parasites who promise the heavens but just glue their seats to their bums. We are happy with people who put the interests of their own personal agendas first ahead of their country's, particularly as right now, there is still no prominent leader in the political scene who lives to keep Singapore right, her strategic thinking in the region, where Philippines are doing way better than Singapore right now and hence, I think they will thrive in my generation; her economic directions, where there should be reciprocal free exchange of labour and capital with countries that enforce reciprocal treatment, and her heritage. Not even some elected officials in Singapore, which has all the right to claim 'we respect our leaders and heritage, and our opponents', even more than you'.
We have little desire for change, even though the world is so rapidly changing it gets dizzying. We are behind the curve in many critical social areas we need to catch up on: acceptance of the various forms of civil rights especially disability, gender and racial rights, censorship of newspapers, television and even websites that actually provide responsible alternatives to what we see out there (that being said I do not think there is fair and balanced media in Singapore right now), and also the healthcare model - Singapore needs single-payer healthcare to allocate resources better towards preventive healthcare with the right focus in adding life to years.
I may be a loser. Right now, I have a degree, like 'everyone else'. I have not much professional work experience as, in short, I still cannot recover from a label most of the rest of Singapore perceive as a source of shame, not a source of pride. Seeing how compatriots do in condoning inaction, impasse and ego inflammation all around, I cannot be bothered to write much in the past few years, and honestly I am demotivated to even say I can be the change I want to see.
Recently, I have some exposure to the Bible. As quoted:
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
Maybe Singapore is a reminder to the world that if we do not put Him and all His children first, we deserve our country being fallen. We deserve to hang our heads in shame, even if we indeed are loving, hardworking and dedicated people for a higher cause. Maybe not having what other people in my land and others have does has its good: I can continue to try to live my life the best I am given. There are many people who have to deal with hypocrisies, lies and denials, including those close to my heart. I know I will deal them. I shall continue to speak out the truth, even those involving my own mistakes.
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